Five years ago today, I was getting up at 6 am every weekday, driving 30 minutes to an office and working in a cubicle for 9 hours. I would come home from work, do the miscellaneous things I needed to get done, and then proceed to work on my side business into the wee hours of the night. Just to do it all over again in the morning. Today things are a bit different, but all the same, I’m always in a constant state of busy-ness.
Even after leaving my job, I continue to struggle with the demands of work vs. taking time for myself. I constantly feel the need to get things done and move on to the next task. It literally never ends. I’m the type of person who loves to make long to-do lists every day, and my anxiety level rises when I don’t get these things done quickly. I should have so much more time to do all the things I want right? Wrong, it hasn’t changed anything.
“If only I could finish this project, then I could take a break”, “If only I could solve this problem, then I can move on to something more fun.”, “If only I could finish this said task, then I all my worries would be solved forever.” No, it will NEVER END. There will always be something new that comes up, some other “emergency” that must be handled. “If only this, then that” but the “then” will never come.
This has become a major problem, not only for my mental health, but also for my relationships, quality of work, and overall feeling of balance. It’s something I’ve decided to really work on starting now. To slow down, take some time away from the things I feel like I “need “ to do now, and to calm the fuck down (Excuse the language).
I know that this will take time and probably a bunch of effort to not give into my old habits, but I’m committed to getting my life in balance once and for all!
Living Your Values
First things first, I’ve decided to write out what I want more of, and what I want less of in life. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
I Want More:
- Time for reading books!
- Exercise and time outdoors
- Networking & getting out of the house during my workday
I Want Less:
- Constant busy-ness
- Meat, dairy, and sugar in my diet
- Social Media
This is just a start, but I feel like living your values and figuring out what matters to you is the starting point to figuring out how to find balance in your life. I want to create my version of life balance and try to live that out every day no matter what “emergencies” come up. In most cases, it doesn’t need to be dealt with that very moment. I don’t need to respond to that email right NOW. It can wait until I’m ready. If you’re waiting until you have some time left over before you start spending time on what is important to you, it’s never going to happen.
Just writing this out makes me feel better already, but I’ll keep you all posted on my progress! No one’s life is perfect, even the people you admire who you think have it all figured out. The truth is, no one has it figured out.
Perfectionism is a self-imposed prison, and only you hold the key.
Thanks for Reading,